A close friend of mine is generally an insecure person and at times she gets very depressed. She's gone through a lot in the past year and it's taking a toll. I am, on the other hand, fairly confident and secure (hopefully w/o coming across as arrogant). We talked over some things and it brought me to this question:
What is different about an insecure person's thought process than mine?
Here's what I think. Insecure people take things very personally and need validation for their actions often and immediately i.e. They seem to obsess with how other people perceive them. Their thought process is along the lines of, "Did I do something THEY like?"
My thought process, and I'm betting this is the same thought process for other confident people, is, "Did I do something I feel is right." It has to mean something to ME, not the other people in the world.
And finally it all comes down to being OK with people not liking your decision. I felt I did the right thing and that's enough for me.
Insecure people seem to try and find themselves and validation from others... asking that never ending question of, "So what do you think? So what do you think they think?"
Will changing one's through process make a person less insecure? I think it would. Can it actually be done? I think it can. I used to hide my insecurity with arrogance. Now I feel I'm way less arrogant and more confident. So I believe, without any concious thought, that I went through a thought changing process. From wondering how other people felt about me to wondering how I feel about ME.
I no longer wonder how I feel about me. It's automatic. I like me. And so should you (and I mean YOU should like YOU).